...

this freeway melting business is serious business.

Orgy In the Beef Closet

this just in from TRANSMISSION Press:

The 5th TRANSMISSION chapbook, Michael Koshkin's Orgy in the Beef Closet, is now available. This book would make a perfect party favor at company parties, mixers, and ice cream socials. Orgy in the Beef Closet, is printed in an initial run of 150 copies, and is about 20 pages long, letterhalf in size, and staple-bound. This chap is printed on ivory linen paper, with an 80lb, vellum coverstock.

You can purchase Michael Koshkin's Orgy in the Beef Closet by making out a check to Logan Ryan Smith for $3.50 and sending it to:

Logan Ryan Smith
711 Leavenworth St., #35
San Francisco, CA 94109

Astral Guide

your girlfriend feels

him lying

in your bed

like crickets
or static television

or a wasp jumping

at your forehead

he shouldn't look
like an Ewok
in maroon robes

he should look
like your grandpa

or an iron fence,
or an Elk

or a wet-dream

in a swimming pool

check!

things done this morning and early afternoon

1. chatted with BB through email like a little girl

2. wrote a bunch of dumb poems and sent them to BB/ he did same (i would post a couple of his but he would probably make me take them down)

example:

"Having no "A" train in The City

The Giants play A

Streak in April the N

Is for AT&T Ballpark

Though for work I

jump on the Six bus

Gangbangers in N. Concord
claim 14 or

XIV

Which stands for North
Or N
The 14th letter
Of the alphabet"

or

"Envision soft tissue Kleenex

On your desktop

Called "envision" that's actually

quite rough
on the nose

when listening to E-40
on my desktop computer

smell me?!"



3. transliterated the cover of a Greek edition of a Patti Smith book for David Harrison Horton

4. scheduled a bunch of stuff for the good Doctor

this is the sound of my voice

check out a new poem by yours truely on Bob Marcacci's new radio show i-outlaw

Black Pudding

like "Bill Cosby's sweater"
is a joke

you've heard before

—and in the Summer
persimmons smell
like semen

under the door

composed of single cells
quickly on walls
and levitation

burrowing Black
Puddings

eat away metal

with evil

corrosive saliva

revelations...

and now i know why people who have office jobs don't check the computer afterwork or on weekends...

UCSF

"hey, i'm such-and-such...you must be the new Brandon Brown..."

...

leave Alec Baldwin alone you psycho bootch

or, i still can't listen to Eminem in public without getting all red-in-the-face

or, don't flirt with the super drunk chick in the bar for more than a few minutes because it makes you look like a dateraper

or, don't encourage fist fights between people you just met

...

sometimes Keak Da Sneak sounds like he lives on Sesame St.

or

as much as i try to like Sage Francis i fucking hate his music

Morgan LeFay

the Greeks

bury their heroes

with dinosaur bones

obviously, the Lady

of the Lake

is not a movie, foremost

among queens
and ghouls

her giant femur

with both forepaws

against his crown

—beasts and ghosts

not a literate neighbor

so few animals and weather

recently read...

1. Mirage #139

2. Much Like You Shark- Logan Ryan Smith

3. Traceland- Mark Lamoureux

4. The Gilles Poem: Winter 2006- Sabrina Calle

5. The Collected Works of Steven Orth- Steve Orth

6. Small Town PZA Vol. 2

7. Oh My Goddess! The Fourth Goddess- Kosuke Fujishima

8. Transfer #8

9. 908-1078- Brandon Brown

10. Read Only Memory- Liz Waldner

...

4/15/07 Alamo Square Park beers and mimosas

Succubus

humans are larvae to be mounted and ridden

barren, digital

though somewhat
of a knock-out

teasing the privates
of boys and women

carried on-the-cob
and a Paradise

when it so wills

bending
backwards and sniffing

the yellow husk

lapping your crotch

Armand "greasy headed ho" Capanna's Missed Connection

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/mis/309755051.html

Djinni

wooden items

are a cruel joke

—whirlwind

jet-setting Djinn

have seldom

been beys, sherrifs, maliks
or vizers

enslavement is better left

to the referee

Tyrannosaurus Rex

with a huge head

so stupidely fierce

this puma-like animal

hates all life

lashing out with its two tentacles

a horney tongue

among silver hair

with those rough appendages

Myspace bulletins aren't working so...

Giants game. 7:00pm. my house. tonight. come if you like. i'll be here.

goodmorning

i am writing to you from my new apartment in San Francisco

this is the best

...

Treant

a tad Afrocentric


an aroused Treant
might chuck a knight

a mile and a half

his joust cutting

like a gyro ball

Manticore

the Manticore makes lists

warm climes and

eating men are preferable

the Manticore has been painted with

lion-colored body, bat-brown wings

human flesh head

Locathah

in some castle-like undersea rock

replace gills for tendons

fan your finned ears

your yellow tongue and pubic hair

curl in the yellow rock

you are an aquatic nomad

psionically endowed

with eyes on the back of your head

Eligible Greeks Dot Com

last week this brilliant dating website matched my sister and i (and a couple weeks before that my sister was matched to our cousin Manoli)...

this week i hit pay dirt!

"Have I died and gone to heaven?
You sound pretty cool. Want to prove me right?
I hope you have a great day!
Talk to you soon
Good bye, ONLYMERK!."

...i think i'm in love.

Joseph Cooper "Memory/Incision"

doppelganger

little sis Beckster (who is moving back to the Bay Area and we are so excited)




and

Sherilyn Fenn (Velvet from Thrashin'!!!)

doppelganger

Allen Ginsberg



and

James Callis/ Gaius Baltar

things i hate

2. the abbreviation "NaPoWriMo"

things i hate

1. brushing teeth scenes in movies or television

Shorts

it's pretty weird but true...shorts are back! at least in San Francisco...

...most of the cool kids these days are sporting shorts, and it's tripping me out.

in San Francisco wearing shorts is the new limited edition shoe.

dudes riding bikes with short-shorts so short you worry about their balls falling out are commmonplace.

is this happening anywhere else?

...

i'm really sick of everyone e-typing like they're from the hood (or at least hip hop)...

i'm guilty of it too, and i think it's boring, and i want to stop...

stuff like

"fa' sho"

"hecka"

"yo" as in "see you there tonight, yo"

any reference to Hyphy is played out and should go away...

such ironic throwbacks as

"fresh"

"radical"

"bananas"

or "gnarly"

need to be flushed down the toilet

...i'm not sure when it started but it seems like every acoustic singer/songwriter has covered a gangster rap song...and it's just not funny anymore and should stop as soon as possible...

artists i'm really sick of

Mickey Avalon
Lily Allen
Amy Winehouse
Mac Dre
most "DJ's"
Le Tigre
all Southern rap (which has contributed more to the promotion of racial stereotypes than David Duke by reducing rap to a thugged out version of a Stepin Fetchit minstral show (Chicken Dance anyone, WTF?))

flat billed baseball caps bug the hell out of me but they look so nice i'll probably end up buying one

i guess that's all for now...