another rapper/ poet doppelganger thingy...

Lil' Debbie ((on the left) White Girl Mob))

and

Ariana Reines

a lot of rare Jazz vinyl burned up when the world ended


somebody was watching The Princess And The Frog when the world ended


a man was eating a sourdough jack when the world ended


Americans eat tuna melts. Do Mexicans eat tuna melts? Do the Irish eat tuna melts? Lindsey Boldt gave me The Hobbit soundtrack for Christmas. I'm currently listening to that watching the Giants vs. Naropa Rockies on some hair of the dog Coors steez. If the Giants lose blame me for drinking Coors. Last night Jessica cut my hair in a house in the Lower Haight. I drank all her vodka and talked about balls. 


If you have the audacity.


My brother was sincerely into the WWF growing up. He was a Hulkamaniac. He'd plop down on saturday morning with his action figures nuzzling his Hulk Hogan plush toy while my mom made pancakes. He just turned 29. Must be so weird being a mom, knowing that a Hulkamaniac (or whatever) came out of your vagina. He uses my Netflix queue so I get to see his viewing history. He just watched "WWE 50 Greatest Stars Of All Time"...


RIP Buster Posey. 

PERV-FACE

when people type "like" instead of just clicking "like"

when people type "done and done"

every time a girl uses an emoticon i think she's being sarcastic

I'm wearing boxer briefs for the first time. I must admit I look amazing. But it feels like I'm wearing panties. I just did that magical move that girls do where they run their pointer fingers along the ridge of their ass cheeks to pull their bikini bottoms from their butt cracks. I've never done that before. Super confused this morning...

I was doing laundry at my parent's house recently. Well, my Mom was doing my laundry for me. And then we were folding my laundry together on the couch. And then there were suddenly all of these duplicates of my boxer shorts. But I didn't own duplicates. And then we realized that the duplicates were actually my Dad's identical underwear mixed in with mine. And it freaked me out. Right? I mean, gross...We were both sporting cheap ass (pun intended) Macy's Tommy Hilfiger boxers. I'm 31 and my Dad is 73, No Good, I can't share underwear styleez with my Pop. So now I'm wearing man panties. I feel like Nuke LaLoosh in Bull Durham. My wind up is getting kinky by the minute. I'm told that I'll get used to it. A bunch of men and women were all "yayaya" on facebook...so I'm thinking this is the right move. Yeah? Yeah...

because i've been reading Ray Bradbury all day

Welcome (to Deathrow)...

and if it was not the three walls
an hour across town
an hour and tore the breath from his mouth
when they stepped out of the car
she had seashells stuffed into her ears

they could not touch through the glass
a hundred miles an hour across town
soon to be four
and it was indeed remarkable
tearing her ears from his mouth
only the wind blowing
at least keep it a tiny musical
because facts of that sort don't change
she was a time bomb

LOL, look at my sun burnt shoulder. Looks like Easter lamb. HAHA. Cancer.

We went on a trip to Truckee, Tahoe. My brother's 29th birthday. "Hot tubs" roughing it.

 

there is no normalizing the word MILF. i wish pop culture would stop trying.


i could care less about animals but have you guys ever seen a stub nosed monkey? they look like elves. or michael jackson. or princess mononoke.


it's really not fair though, the only songs ever sung on MUNI sound like halitosis infected with Hep C wearing a vomit and E&J stained dirty Duster style trench coat...


“Jesus Christmas, holy Jesus God damn, Jesus jumping Christmas shit”


it smells like field-porn outside...


you've aged as well as a Paul Frank t-shirt...

i'm so emotional today. cried during This Week In Baseball. cried during the Kentucky Derby. cried 3 times in 1 episode of Friday Night Lights. crycrycry, that's all i ever do.

Madmartigan

can't stand people who stretch in front of me. want to throw up in their lap. 

no hulu hoops allowed...

John Sakkis flaunts (flaunts!) his bikini body/ baby bump...

"John is fixing his toilet so he will be arriving late. "

Senior Frogs.

i'm a studio gangster...

Ryan Vogelsong don't be an asshole.

roller coaster ride enthusiast.

the death of Gavroche!

I'm off to the Peninsula to eat an entire lamb with my family. 

i strained my neck this morning puffing on my asthma inhaler. i feel like Revenge Of The Nerds II: Nerds In Paradise...

which poet do you think is going to write the inevitable over-thinking it blog post/ essay defending the new Lady Gaga album cover? willing to bet whoever it is references Zizek, Kitsch, Glam...

the most interesting thing you can do to a wall nowadays is buff it...stencil-art is an oxymoron. saying "street art" is like rocking JNKOs in 2011. i don't care about your fucking mural.

Portes, Plakoto, Fevga.

Ashley Judd calls Rap music misogynistic gets called a racist by feminists...

streaming Eat Pray Love might have not been such a good idea. currently at the part where Julia Roberts eats a really good plate of spaghetti...now i'm on the part where Julia Roberts eats a really good cantaloupe...

now i'm on the part where Julia Roberts eats a really good slice of pizza in Naples, FML.

now i'm on the part where Julia Roberts takes a cab in India.

pimps in the woods. i dreamt about pimps in the woods.

Jezebel is mad because Sleigh Bells sang about "dumb whores"...only they didn't, they sang about "devil horns"...

I'm not a shit-head i just flush a lot.

Cholombians are the new Juggalos.

Hurricane but you can call me Slurricane...

and now we're going to Libya! cause it's totally our business to win a revolution for them! sweet!


‎"Are clams alive?" "Yes/ No" "This answer is: Irrelevant Little important Somewhat important Very important Mandatory"


dreamt i was landing so many heel flips.


is Kurt Loder still on MTV?


for I have dined on honeydew!

my band is called BOTH BOTH...

heyhey, reading at Condensery at the end of the month...

Dear Friends,

We are pleased to invite to our series this month for the readings of:

Julia Drescher, CJ Martin and John Sakkis

on Saturday May 28th

Doors at 7:30, reading will begin promptly at 8

Condensery takes place at:

604 56th at Shattuck
in Oakland

The reading is free.
Some wine and snacks will be served.
BYOB as always.
Street parking / porch for bikes.


Pen/cil us in. We hope to see you then!



Zack Tuck and Jack Frost