presumably written by one of the editors, Jared "Strawberry Daiquiri" Hayes or Andy "Where's Waldo" Peterson...
What To Do If You Meet...
Boom Boom Sakkis
Don't bother to run — death and taxes are inevitable
Paste fur on your face, snort and pretend you're one of them.
Might as well enjoy what it conjures up. Just think happy thoughts and
you'll get what you want.
Try to slide away or roll down mountain, they're not too fast.
Watch for web, throw Molotov cocktails.
Call for the lone ranger.
Hand him some sunscreen.
Wear rubber gloves if you shake hands with him. Shake with your left.
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