...

1. Hi my name is...
john constantine sakks and i'm a half greek that eats greek food like a full greek out of a kazantzakis novel like captain michales or peter from the last tempataion of christ though last night i drank beers at d-structure and then went to alli baba's cave and had a schwerma which is "mediteranian" food but totally, obviously not greek and then watched re-runs of deadliest catch on disco channel

2. Never in my life have I....
worked at a desk for so long for 9 hours a day because before like 3 months ago i was a life time full time student starting with preschool to elementary school (woodside) to middle school (oak grove) to high school (YVHS) to junior college (DVC) to university (SFSU) to grad school (Naropa U.) to back home but it took me 26 years to get back home and in the meantime the only jobs i held were internships (SFMOMA, the poetry center, Kevin Killian, naropa's archives etc) and bullshit like working at borders as a "bookseller" but really that means standing at an info desk and telling people where the self help section is and the little girls and boys in black capes where the metaphycical section is because that's where they keep all the anton levay books and the tarot cards and "Seth" books and for some reason hella goth kids (i didn't even know they still existed) hung out at borders in boulder...and try saying that 300 times a day "hello this is Border's in Boulder, how may i help you...?"

3. The one person who can drive me nuts is...
i'm pretty good at driving myself nuts but my brother can get under my skin when he acts retarded or like pushes my crotch into girls when he's really drunk on red wine on the dance floor but it's all love and i love him for it

4. High School...
i painted my nails sky blue and wore my mom's sun glasses and gigantic JNCO jeans and tiny stripey polo shirts and tennis visors and a full on raver kid who still got good grades even though i never slept and actually wasn't at school all that often but the teachers liked me and i was good at lying to them about stuff and good at doing the assignments even though this one teacher kept suspending me for quoting The Roots ("i blast eight shrivled tips") in my journal and then again when i wrote this classic highschool angsty newpaper editorial about the evils of censorship and that was the last day of school and steve lopez had my back but she sort of went crazy and kicked everyone out of the class room and yeah, i'm sort of tooting my own horn and she was actually just doing her job and i was a little bit of a prick who would do things like take off my pants in the middle of class just to fuck with her and all the kids would laugh but she would be embarrassed

5. When I'm nervous...
i get reallly dodgy eyes and i try to concentrate and not be weird but by thinking that i might be acting a little abnormal i probably start to act even more weird like when i'm walking across a crosswalk and i'm like thinking that all the people in the cars are looking at me and so i think to myself that i just need to keep walking normal but suddenly i'm thinking too hard about walking normal so i sort of forget how to walk normal at all and i start feeling wobbly and looking very nervous and dodgy

6. The last time I cried was...
almost yesterday in teh library right before i took an hour nap but i don't really want to get into that (this is actually probably a lie)

7. If I were to get married right now my maid of honor/best man would be....
james constantine sakkis that'd be my brother

8. My hair is...
very dark brown almost so much it looks black esp. when i get sweaty like if i'm dancing around with my UDP becky (you can call her rebecca) and it gets swirly when wet as well but actually my brother is the one with the neato hair because mine's too curly and as a 12 year old boy all you want is bangs like edward furlong in terminator 2

9. When I was 5...
i used to ditch my parents all the time so i was always being found by strangers and being held by stranges and being asked my name by strangers who were trying to figure out where this little dude came from in like grocery stores, and hotels and the city of los angeles and the post office and great america and maybe i remember my name being called over the PA in all these places more than any other childhood memory like "would the parents of johnny sakkis please fetch him at the counter..." and i was always just like "dag...lemme go lemme go..."

10. Last Christmas...
eve was totally fucked off and spent in the emergency room but i don't want to go into that one either

11. I should be...
more aware of the stuff i put on in the morning because i just noticed (i took a pee break) that i have a giant coffee stain all down the front of my nice shirt or maybe i should be dating someone but i'm not and i'm never really sure why though i actually know why and it has to do with my liking girls who are totally bat shit crazy or girl's who have boyfriends


13. The craziest recent event was...
i have a fulltime job so i don't think i really get to experience "crazy recent events" anymore maybe the recent realization that all my friends are bartenders but that's actually not very interesting at all and this is interesting or that night i went out with jessica and nancy and i saw this kid jeremy who i went to junior college with only jeremy is now homeless and on crack and he was sort of trying to holler at jessica in the liquor store right before he spotted me and was like "holy shit, hey john, how'ya been?!..."

14. If I were a character on 'Friends' I'd be...

i'm changing this to "if i was a character on battlestar galactica i'd be..."

def. Cara Thrace otherwise knows as hot shit Starbuck


15. By this time next year...
i hope to be "dating" a pretty girl and to be doing something that actually takes advantage of my youthful vitality rather than sitting at a desk all day looking at a computer hitting the refresh button every 5 minutes and then looking forward to walking home the two miles from UCSF to the lower haight becasue that's actually the only extended body movement i get all day long

16. My current gripe...
i've said it before and i'll say it again i think san francisco summer's are the worst i really miss the "medeterainian" COCO east bay heat but i'm going home this weekend for a father's day makeup dinner at my parents house so i get to experience a real summer if only for an afternoon

17. I have a hard time understanding...
loud people, i really don't understand how people can be that inconsiderate and sometimes i start to feel like maybe i'm a fasciest and that if there was some kind of government agency that shot and killed loud people i would turn rat and call that agency (like on my cellphone on the bus) and tell them that there are loud people on the bus and that we're pulling up to the divis and haight street stop on the six line so have your guns ready to shoot these incredibly ignorant people in the back of the head...i think i would like that and not feel bad at all, in reality

18. There's this girl I know who..
i'm still trying to meet her and maybe have a drink or a sandwich with but there's this other girl i know who went to bible school out in anaheim and some of us are worried that she'll never come back

19. You know I like you when..
i start saying things like "i want to beat the shit out of you right now...i want to hit you so hard, but with love..." or "i want to throw you against the wall you motherfucker, i love you so much..." i'm usually saying this stuff to my guy friends...or my guy friends's girlfriends...i can be VER homoerotic

20. If I won an award, the first person I would thank would be...
honestly my freaking mom she's sort of amazing and very supportive and likes to read my poetry and say nice things about it and brings back a "suitcase full of comics from the 50's" from her recent cousin reunion in las cruses new mexico

21. Take my advice...

22. My ideal breakfast...
if my mom is making it she would make pancakes with sliced bananas and a cup of coffee and a glass of milk and she would cut it all up for me, but if i'm in greece it would be a "biscuit" and some cheese and maybe some cheery preserves and a bit of "toast" and some nice muddy greek coffee and some figs, in america without my mom around it would be a caraffe of coffee and those "irish cream" mixer and some water

23. If you visited the place I was born...


24. I plan to visit someone...
tonight, i'd like to see becky in the TL if she's down and have some vodka tonics and beers and whiskey's so i can tell her my shirt size

25. If you spend one night at my house...
you will eat lot's of good homemade food and watch some good TV with pretty good TV shit talkers or maybe a soccor game with my dad and lay in the hamock outside and enjoy the concord heat and wake up to my mom cooking pancakes or french toast or waffles and she'll cut it up for you

26. I'd stop my wedding if...


27. The world could do without..
loud people, dirty people, smelly people, haters people, mutant looking people etc

28. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than...
go see a movie at a movie theater in like say antioch or pittsburg or dowtown concord

29. Most recent thing I've bought myself...
i bought myself some beers last night and a pack of smokes but i'm gong to quit very soon (yay brandon) but the most real thing i bought myself was a couple new t-shirts that look very good on me

30. Most recent thing someone else bought for me...
my roommate jonathan bought me a nice tin box that says "Pierce St" on it and also he bought me some onions and celery and mayo but honestly i'm usually the one buying people stuff even though i can't really afford it and yes i'm tooting my horn again but i like getting stuff for people

31. My favorite blonde is...
my cousins julia (are you blond) and louisa and lily i think are all blond and i'm super into family so i think that's a good answer or maybe last weekend i was really into james kumerelis (which is some sort of inedible berry, his last name i mean) who i remember being a blonde

32. My favorite brunette is...
my brother who has ver ver cool thick wavy edward furlong'ish brunette hair but he always keeps it under wraps in a cadet cap with the lid flipped up like some kind of vietnam movie make in the 80s staring maybe ralph machio

33. My favorite redhead is...
judas iscariot was probably the coolest character in nikos kazantzakis's otherwise pretty boring giagantor novel the last temptation of christ and then the gospel of judas was recently discoverd and it pretty much says what kazantzakis wrote...that jesus asked judas to betray him and that judas's sacrifice was actually the bigger sacrifice because to betray one's master is actually more difficult than the pain endured on the cross (though kazantzakis doesn't exactly say that)...

34. My middle name is...
constantine who was the first roman chirstian emporer (though people now say he maybe wasn't a true christian he was more of a pundent, like, politically it made sense to denounce all the roman gods (re: greek gods, natch) for like vox populi reasons)...and then there's this cool comic called john constantine but i've only gotten maybe 2 jokes about that and i actually don't know if the comic is cool or not but i've seen the movie with keanu reeves and it was bad

35. This morning I..
i was talking to myself a lot more than usual and i woke up earlier than usual (i was up at 6am driking my coffee listening to itunes looking at the crazy fog rolling in from the ocean but you could tell it was a warm fog and when i stepped outside i was right)

36. Living things I would like to see flying besides birds are...
humans outside of the dream world, sometimes when i'm on the bus and there are loud idiots all around me i fantasize that like i jump up in the air and start spinning around and at this point everyone thinks i'm an angel or a magician or something and they shut up and just stare at me for teh duration of the ride

37. Once at a bar...
a couple of my friends tried to get the bartender to take me in the back and "finish me off" but she was all "come back tomorrow" and i went upstairs and attacked my roommate matthew who was playing nintendo and i sort of shut it off and turned on Spice 1 and jumped on him and said stuff like "i love you so much i want to beat the fuck out of you..." and was sort of tickling him and hitting him in the ribs at the same time and he got up and ran into his bedroom and locked the door so in retaliatinon i ate all his french bread and passed out on the kitchen floor...i don't drink tequilla or vodka that much anymore straight up

38. Last night...
i did some work on the stoop and read some of bhanu's cyborg book (for some reason i can't remember the title "incubation of space" or something like that) that i'm freaking in lvoe with right now and then i got a call from nevine to come down to d-structure and drink wine with her so i did and jon julio and azikwee and jose and tory and some other roller fools were down there drinking beer and then they closed up shop and the new artist (i can't remember his name right now but he's amazing) began his instillation on the walls that will open on saturday which i'm giong to try and make but i may be in concord we'll see...and then this morning i walked down to fillomore and haight to wait for the bus and looked in the shop to see what the artist did on the wall and i saw that he painted a giant fox's head...

39. There's this guy I know who...



40: I don't know...
what makes people think that retarded and loud and ignorant is like socially acceptable like my dream would be to have those crazy foster parents in that pretty dumb horror movie the people under the stairs ride the busses and cut of the tongues of anyone talking louder than a certain decibal on public transportation

41. A better name for me would be.....
onlymerk! is just a DJ name not a "tagger" name and def. not an "artist" name like Silly Pink Bunnies or Doolittle or Giant

43. My birthday is...
on the 27th of november and i was talking about his to nevine cause her mom's b-day is maybe 2 days after mine and every few years thanksgiving falls on the same day and my family is all "chomp...smack smack...happy-chomp-birthday yanni...lick"

44. What I really want for Valentine's Day is...
i'm a simple man, i want a kiss and a hug

45. I'm wearing...
black levi's and size 14 shoes (i'm a 13 so i have lot's of blisters from my daily walk home because of my too-big-shoes but it's worth it because like i said my walk home from work is the only psychical activity my body sees all day)...and a brown h&m undershirt (it used to be a tee shirt i'd wear out until i washed it and the cheap ass moroccan cottom shrank up like 4 sizes so now it's more of a belly shirt but it goes good under button downs...fuck H&M and their cheap ass material, by the by)...and a nice white stripy button down that i spilled coffee all over either this morning or some other morning