maybe it's because i wasn't raised with animals. maybe it's because i'm severely allergic to cat hair. maybe i'm just emotionally unavailable to pets. maybe i'm just jealous (probably not). but there is nothing more excruciatingly boring than a cute animal story/video/picture. esp cats. i could care less about your cat. i hate all your cat photos on flickr. in fact, if you're a girl, and you have a cat (like all of you) you may as well have genital warts. i'm not messing around with you (strangely, dog girls are incredibly sexy). but alas, this photo of a chinese monkey (he lives in china) running with a cute lil' dog in its arms, fleeing from a major explosion in nanjing slays me...the headline "Monkey Saves Puppy In Nanjing Explosion" is pretty goddamn heartwarming/ awesome...i laughed till i almost cried. then i scrolled down and read the story, then scrolled back up, and laughed till i almost cried all over again. is this what it feels like to own a pet? i love this monkey so much i want to crush it with hugs. suffocate it with smiles. bash in its brains with tickles. i love you hero-monkey, the world is yours!

UPDATE: Jezebel reported the story this morning, but i did some investigating (investigating!), the story might be fake, sadly. people are saying that this photo is from a couple of years ago. so either the story is true but they used an unrelated photo to illustrate (while lying about where the photo came from in the meantime). or the story is false and they used this photo to try to bolster credibility. either way, i'm heartbroken.