How many people have died at a birthday party from a pinata swing?

How many people have been pushed into Lake Merritt by a stranger?

You know how some people smell like BO when they don't shower, and others smell like Lay's Potato Chips?

I think the potato chip smell is worse. The BO smell is offensive and annoying, the potato chip smell is ambiguous, all dirty skin and Jack In The Box. I hold my breath in the presence of both, but hold it harder for potato chip smell.

I hate the phrase "so as not to..."...it's hyper-literary in a "I'm-a-rock-singer-using-language" kind of way. "So as not to" appear embarrassed Joanie pulled her hoodie over her ears as she walked through the quad." SOWAZNOTTOO. "So as not to" offend the dinner guests Harry The Dog was mindful of his flatulence."