somebody's truck backed into me while i was asleep a couple weeks ago
they ripped a huge dent into my front hood. i had just gotten my front hood replaced because a women had pulled into my lane a few weeks ago on Frontage Rd. and i t-boned into her passenger side. her car was totaled, my car left with damage to the front hood. i paid $500 of my deductible to have it replaced. i gave that woman and her daughter a ride home to their house in Oakland. she offered me some meats from the butcher as gratitude. i slammed into her passenger side as she was coming from the grocery store. this man's truck dug a giant hole in my front hood two weeks later. i left him a note with my phone number. the truck's owner called my cellphone.
somebody slammed into me on the Bay Bridge a couple weeks ago and then somebody slammed into him and then he slammed back into me and then somebody slammed into the person who slammed into him. one car was totaled, one man went away in an ambulance, my bumper was barely hanging on, all the cassettes in my trunk flew out of their cases, all the change in my coin container flew at my face like buck-shot. i've never used the word buck-shot before.
highway patrol are like robots. they are very weird people. like Men In Black. i asked one of them a question. and then he didn't answer my question. so i asked him the same question again, politely. and he repeated word for word the same thing he just said, aggressively. i heard him the first time and he knew i heard him the first time. highway patrol are very weird people. i can't imagine a highway patrol having sex with anybody. i don't think they have genitals. i just got into a four car accident on the Bay Bridge in rush hour and the highway patrol was acting like a Man In Black. i locked my keys in my car. the highway patrol left, the Caltrans left. i was sitting on a barrier wall on the side of the Bay Bridge looking down at the ocean. i think some people driving by probably thought i was going to commit suicide. after 30 minutes or so a man in a Caltrans truck pulled up. he had a "lock kit" which he used to open my passenger side door. i drove home listening to the end of the Giants game.
my neck hurt for a few days so i went up to Jenner. i woke up early and filled my backpack with beers. i grabbed a book and a towel and made my way to the hot tub. i soaked my neck in the hot tub drinking beers, not reading the book, over looking the Sonoma County Pacific coast. the hot tub water was green, but it was warm so i didn't care. later that morning i ate a breakfast burrito and drank sun-tea with vodka and ice. later that night i went to a party in the Castro and kissed a girl i've been wanting to kiss since i was a teenager.
i just got back from LA. i don't mind all the driving. i think it's easy not to leave your neighborhood in San Francisco because it's easy not to walk. sometimes the idea of walking from my neighborhood to another neighborhood makes me paranoid. i get self-conscious walking through crosswalks. i feel like i'm being critiqued. i forget how to walk sometimes. i feel too focused, exaggerated. i don't like the driver's gaze. i hate making my way through their line of sight. if i had to drive everywhere in San Francisco i could avoid other people. i would go to more parties. go to more galleries, eat out at restaurants occasionally. i still wouldn't go to the movies. i only go to the movies with my Mom. and even with her not very much.
right now i'm alone in my apartment. my roommate is meeting his girlfriend's parents in Washington. i like being alone, i keep my bedroom door open. i'm looking at the internet less and less in the morning. i really do wish i had some real life skills. i come from people with skills. carpenters, sailors, cowboys, soldiers, priests, travelers. my brother works on a sailboat now, he built a garden box with my dad in their backyard. i've only gotten in a few fights. i wish it didn't take so much to make me mad. i feel like i should make something other than poems. i'm sick of smiling for people. if you're an awkward person, and you're making the situation awkward, i'm not going to go out of my way to make it less awkward. i miss running. i dream about skateboarding too much. i think that's how people lose some of their power. by trying to cross that bridge. just let it be weird and drink your wine. right now i'm reading things like Late Returns: A Memoir Of Ted Berrigan by Tom Clark, The Apocrypha and Ben Hur by Lew Wallace. i wrote a postcard to myself or whoever finds it, tucked it into a book and shelved it. i made sure to mention that it was 2010 and that i am 30 years old.
Aug 31, 2010
Aug 30, 2010
LA Summer 2010 trip was the epic'est LA trip so far...some things: Sophie Sills, Mole Mexican, Froster's Freeze, Silverlake, Joseph Mosconi and Rita Gonzalez, party in the hills w/ a million Black Widows, Eligh Wood and Miranda July (starfucking whatevs...) kicking it at the bar, meeting David Shook, Malibu beach sun bathing, Billy Jacks and Meg in Studio City, beers and more beers, Sicilian-style tuna melt, Jon Wright sleeping next to me, French press coffee, Matthew Timmons reading the KS Ursonate, Pisha Warden, late night tacos and chips, 7-11!!!, Girls' Hell Hole Rat Race, man with giant orange beard hitting on Sophie x infinity, Pisha's pug, SF skies in LA, Pisha's rooftop in the morning for breakfast tea overlooking West Hollywood, 101 North to the 405 to the I-5...can't wait to go back. XOXO LA...
Aug 26, 2010
heading to LA tomorrow...thinking about road trip cd-burns i'll make tonight. following the sun south. if i could find a job in LA i'd probably move there. i hate SF weather more than almost anything. we had no summer, we never have summer and i'm sick and tired of it. i think it ages you. i think i look like i'm 38 years old. all because of SF retarded summers. so hi Sophie Sills! hi Joseph Mosconi and Rita! hi Billy Jacks and Meg! hi Matthew T. and Ara S. and Harold A.! hi Echo Park! hi Silverlake! hi Studio City! hi sun! see you tomorrow...
Aug 23, 2010
Aug 20, 2010
Aug 19, 2010
Aug 16, 2010
Aug 13, 2010
Aug 11, 2010
recently read...
1. Try- May 10, 2010
2. Pastoral- Carl Phillips
3. Wilson- Daniel Clowes
4. On: Contemporary Practice #1
5. Combo #2
6. Heads Up Fever Pile- Karen Weiser (Belladonna #77)
7. Belleza Y Felicidad- Fernanda Laguna/ Gabriela Bejerman/ Cecilia Pavon- trans. Urayoan Noel
8. How To Read The Aura And Practice Psychometry, Telepathy and Clairvoyance- W.E. Butler
9. The Redneck Manifesto- Jim Goad
10. Il Cuore: The Heart Selected Poems- Kathleen Fraser
11. Transfer #61
12. Torn Awake- Forrest Gander
13. Zephyrus Image: A Bibliography- Alastair Johnston
14. Temblor #2
15. Hyper Glossia- Stacy Szymaszek (Belladonna #80)
16. You But For The Body Fell Against- Nathalie Stephens (Belladonna #81)
17. from Human Resources- Rachel Zolf (Belladonna #82)
18. The Beekeeper's Departure- Jennifer Chapis
19. Lines #5
20. New American Writing #13
Aug 10, 2010
maybe it's because i wasn't raised with animals. maybe it's because i'm severely allergic to cat hair. maybe i'm just emotionally unavailable to pets. maybe i'm just jealous (probably not). but there is nothing more excruciatingly boring than a cute animal story/video/picture. esp cats. i could care less about your cat. i hate all your cat photos on flickr. in fact, if you're a girl, and you have a cat (like all of you) you may as well have genital warts. i'm not messing around with you (strangely, dog girls are incredibly sexy). but alas, this photo of a chinese monkey (he lives in china) running with a cute lil' dog in its arms, fleeing from a major explosion in nanjing slays me...the headline "Monkey Saves Puppy In Nanjing Explosion" is pretty goddamn heartwarming/ awesome...i laughed till i almost cried. then i scrolled down and read the story, then scrolled back up, and laughed till i almost cried all over again. is this what it feels like to own a pet? i love this monkey so much i want to crush it with hugs. suffocate it with smiles. bash in its brains with tickles. i love you hero-monkey, the world is yours!
UPDATE: Jezebel reported the story this morning, but i did some investigating (investigating!), the story might be fake, sadly. people are saying that this photo is from a couple of years ago. so either the story is true but they used an unrelated photo to illustrate (while lying about where the photo came from in the meantime). or the story is false and they used this photo to try to bolster credibility. either way, i'm heartbroken.
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