...

Pinhead: everytime i do an administrative task it's a huge slap to the face of my degree...

John: i know, i just want to wear what i want and...

Pinhead: uh huh...

John: oh and wake up when i want and...

Pinhead: no, you'd still have to get up early because you'd be writing for all those people with office jobs...the world wakes up at 7am my friend.

John: oh yeah, i guess you're right...but if you write for a band, be like, a band's blogger you could just get up when you want and wear what you...

Pinhead: no no, because, you're not really in the band, you know, you're just writing about the band, like live blogging about the band for the fans...i mean, yeah you could wear what you want but you'd still have to get up at a reasonable hour...

John: i'm just not cut out for this admin crap...i'm really bad at it too...

Pinhead: me too, i'm the worst receptionist ever...i sort of just hide behind my computer screen all "what do you want?" instead of "how can i help you?" whenever someone comes in...

John: thankfully i have an office to hide in all day...you know, when i first got this job i used to try and get *out* of the office as much as possible. i'd run errends, take hikes to Sutro Tower, ride around on the N aimlessly...but now i'm like, i don't want to leave, i have no motivation to leave anymore, and when someone knocks on my door it's like a personal affront, a violation of my space, you know...i can't help it, i was thinking the other day...i came to the realization the other day that i can actually go an entire week without physically speaking to anyone...sure i'll get 35 texts in a week, 100 emails, maybe even a few voice messages, but it's entirely possible for me to go a full work week and not have any human interation...i mean, that's not good right? that's unhealthy, it feels unhealthy at least...and i consider myself a homebody...i don't really like people all that much...but it feels wrong, or post-apocalyptic or something talking to people via whatever gadget you have in your pocket, right?...or maybe it doesn't feel weird enough and that's why it's weird...

Pinhead: ...you do get chatty on the weekend?

John: well, i guess that could be part of it...cause i don't think i'm a naturally talkative person...i'm one of these people who tends to hear himself talk, and is ususally cringing the whole time but feels like he has to finish the sentence, the train of thought just to appear normal...seriously, i think half the time i'm talking i'd rather just stop mid-thought because what i'm saying really isn't all that interesting, i bore myself, or maybe "bore" is the wrong word, i don't know, i feel like i "predict" myself, i don't know how to turn that off...

Pinhead: but you're so not boring when you're threatening to tackle people...and you're always threatening to tackle people at the bar, which is predictable i guess, i guess i see your point...

John: see, i think i've done that so many times i don't even mean it anymore, it's like when i threaten to kick the shit out of Armand or whatever, it's so predictable at this point it's boing, but for some reason, when you get a little beer or vodka in my system it's like muscle memory or something...this shit just comes out of my mouth and people eat it up so it keeps coming out of my mouth ad infinitum...but i have no idea what i'm thinking while i'm saying this crap, my thoughts are all over the place, i'm a very paranoid person, but a functioning paranoid, somehow i can stand there talking all this blah blah blah making people laugh and stuff all the while i'm completely horrified on the inside...like, my brain feels like an insect's or something and i'm standing there just completely horrified trying not to let on that i know everything is buzzing, like that everyone has bad skin or dandruff or whatever and that buzzing is just scratching their faces off layer by layer...and it's all just dead skin anyways so...

Pinhead: ...so?...what are you doing for Halloween?

John: nothing, i hate SF Halloween...you?

Pinhead: same here, it's all so bridge and tunnel...predictable...

John: god we sound antsy huh?

Pinhead: go to hell...

John: haha! i get it...you too...