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sitting in a bar that is Moloto'vs and The Sundownder at once...it's a pool bar, we're all up to our chins in water drinking Pabst...Everyday Caitlin is there but she's also an Indian girl...she tells me a story about how her family looks at her like she's crazy because she rocks her "sari with black chucks on the way to the Ben Sherman store"...and then i order a Pabst from the bartender who has a giant cricket in a jar full of formaldehyde resting on a shelf behind her...the grasshopper in the jar wakes up and starts moving around...suddenly i get the back story of the grasshopper...he chose to hibernate in the jar for 1 year...he was supposed to stay asleep but when the bartender bumped the jar he woke up...he is very upset because he doesn't know if he's been in the jar for one day or months or what...he knows that he has to stay in the jar for exactly one year and not a day early...he starts to get paranoid...he starts to bash his head against the glass...back to ordering from the bar, i say "pabst please" and she says "6 dollars" and i go "what the hell, how is a Pabst 6 bucks" and she goes "i'm going to give you a Bud and a shot for 6 bucks" and i say "i want a 2 dollar Pabst though" and she says "the Pabst is warm, i'd rather charge you 6 bucks for a Bud and a shot then serve you warm 2 dollar beer"...i feel like she's pulled this shit before...i explain to her that because i just lost my job i can't afford a 6 dollar Bud combo, i'm playing all of this up, opening my empty wallet, sob story...she says "okay fine" and hands me a can of Pabst...i wade over to another part of the bar, chin deep in water, water is getting into my can of Pabst...Brandon shows up and immediately says "i can only stay 5 minutes..."...the guy bartender brings out a contraption that looks like a Naked Luncheon Hooka pipe...i say, "what's that for?" and he says "for the Ebola..." i say, "who has Ebola?"...he says "i do..." and then he coughs and i start to feel very uncomfortable...skip to: i realize i'm going to jail for the rest of my life because i'm in the mob and the "feds" have busted me...but suddenly i'm Pauli from The Sopranos with long white hair and a long unkempt beard...i look like Anthony Hopkins from Instinct...i call Armand (who is also in the mob) for a sitdown...i say "you're gonna want to sit down for this"...he does...and then i say "the feds caught up to me, i'm probably going away for the rest of my life..."...