tomorrow, 12:44pm flight...here i come.

Fairuza Balk American Girl


Everything is a douchbag now
Echo Park is my Shelly Duvall
I’m surrounded by apple-bottoms
Pissing all over these bushes
It’s a new sunny day
But everyone is always
Moving to Oakland
A whole economy has grown
Out of this House movement
Gone are the days of one
“San Francisco sound,” when
All my friends are sapping Alize
Nickel n’ dimed in their dirty East Bay cottages
The proverbial “last drink”
Is just a white label nux vomica
If you take that informal survey
We’ll all have to sit through that
“Body Movin’” acoustic track again, and this
Is a point the commercial ignores
The narrator has no credibility
He is a website pop-locking Egyptians
Your liver and stomach
Will be speaking to you as an internal affair
And when it comes down to it
No one knows how to define anything anymore
We’re walking that tightrope of taste
I’m a trendoid poseur and
All my friends are pushing mongo

Super Bowl XLIII

Did my first meth and close read The End for 8 hours
All the squares in the living room want to be hung
By thick twine around the borders as a fireball
From the hand or a whale of a bus in blue drips
Cut off at the corner of the wall those hips saying
“Having a nice time wish you were here” to look
a bit more 3-dimensional as you climb through the
Front door carrying the best fried chicken from
Divisadero complete with a dance routine to battle
The Super Bowl half time show and everybody
Else knows it’s Stag Night at the corners but
I can’t seem to find the right place to hang
These portraits, all the space in the living room
Is white space and I’m playing “I spy with my little
Eye” a blue key and teapot and an American hero
On horseback with sappier drawn shouting “Pro
Patriot” but nevermind that Castlevania III cartridge
Hanging above the transom, that’s just decoration
From my childhood and this is an important day
And all my friends are rooting for the same team

best friends...

Thursday-Sunday Boulder, CO...




Sunday-Friday Brooklyn, NY

The Cenobites


I am a goddamn Butterball Cenobite
My repulsive glamour is a
Piano riff with anti-club posters
Wheat pasted all over the TL

I am a super-butcher, as in
A franchise with no overt reference
My attributes are a Roland 303
And leather garments gushing blood

We all have horrific mutilations
Manifested in the tools we carry
As devoted followers more than
20,000 attended during the weekend

This is the Western concept for former humans
Just a rotating lozenge with patterns
Of Lemachand’s box on its panels
Until the crowd responds favorably

For many decades this diamond
Was a card suit until Club Burn It Up
Became a lithograph able to summon
Chains from nearby shadows

I was made with a pneumatic eye
That can impale targets, and so forth
That smiley yellow face, that vapid
Anonymous smile exhibits an amoral
Personality levitating above its butchery

While we were listening to this music
We thought of exposing areas of flesh
Where some kind of torture has,
Or is occurring, all the unlicensed clubs
Turned on the scene, this was an extremely
Painful point of sensory overload

The Lone Gunman

Hubba hubba in the West

But it’s his magical powers

That keeps that magazine in circulation

From Simon Magus to Moses to Logos

A judge with his own store

But it’s where we hideout

And just as Scully was named after

A baseball announcer, The Gunmen

Are named after an Airforce base

A punk rock band and JFK

The History Of Hell in a series spinoff

And that little cry-baby CC

Was anything but a duelist

Dropping the hammer on message boards

Swearing to kill off anybody not

Tuned into this Friday night ménage

Until Mulder was tasked to chat

With these ghosts asking stupidly

“Where does lightening come from, and

By what will does it strike the tower?”

In this theogony TLG might be

The Bride but your ideas are even

Weirder than the myriad scientific

Inaccuracies of the sci-fi series Earth 2

El Lobo appears to live a normal life

And his motto “as above, so below”

Might trick a satellite dish into bouncing

Back his image, but don’t be fooled

By these childish scraps, he is the

Magician incarnate asking for assistance

Peter Culley has an excellent point re: soccer. re: this video...

his Facebook update says simply "why I no longer watch soccer...."



in my comment to the post i basically asked if maybe this was one of the reason's America hasn't fully flown the soccer banner (obviously not the only reason, i've been told that this a somewhat new phenomenon, like 20 years or something right?) i mean, the theatrics on display in this video are pretty pathetic (and not uncommon). i think it's fairly safe to say that the US sports attitude is all about sucking it up, grinning and baring it, not cheating, being a good sport and hustling as hard as you can (and whatever other little league cliche you can think of)...i mean i LOVELOVE watching and playing soccer but i have a definite aversion to men whimpering/ crying/ whining/ pouting in sports...and then when it's exaggerated or downright fake like it mostly is in soccer it's a complete turnoff...i feel like shouting at these turds "act like men you fucking pussies!!!," and yeah that's a hyper-masculine reaction, but then i like my sports hyper-masculine (unless we're talking about Olympics gymnastics where the girls are infinitely more fun to watch)...and i get how this behavior plays into strategy, but now i'm circling back to what Peter originally posted, why he no longer enjoys watching soccer, and maybe this plays into why the majority (??) of Americans aren't very excited about soccer...cause at the surface i can totally see not getting excited about a sport that promotes (by not actively punishing) a strategy where men act like babies to tweak the clock or mess with defensive or offensive flow (or to just catch a breather)...but as Peter implies, it didn't used to be like this. so what happened? does anybody know when things turned for the worse? when things got so wussy? i'm sure there have been articles written etc. if you could explain this to me or point me towards some writing that's been done on this subject i'd be obliged...

also, i don't watch MLS, i'd like to but i don't get cable, and i definitely don't go to San Jose...but i'm curious, do American players act the same way in that league?

and finally, maybe this is all moot and the real reason American's don't like soccer is "because it was invented by Karl Marx, in Mexico, and the French are good at it..." -Gawker article this morning

ears are technology...

all i know is that on Friday i played spin the bottle with a bunch of dudes and girls i didn't know in the Upper Haight...and then walked home at 4:30am.

and then woke up and went and watched the USA/ England game at Cafe International with a big group of friends. and my brother said "you're hella hungover huh...?" and i said "how can you tell...?" and he said "because you haven't taken your sunglasses off and we're inside and i know how much you completely hate that..." and i said "next time you're up can you grab me one...?"

and then some of us headed to Alamo Square park because it was 85 degrees in SF...

and then me and C. headed to blahblahblah to get a turkey wrap...and then we ate wraps in Duboce Park...and then headed to Molotov's...

and then we headed back home to hang out for a couple hours...

and then i changed into shorts because it was still sweaty balls out and we went back to Molotov's...

and then we decided to head to Sparky's in the Castro but halfway there i was like "do we really want to do this...?" and she was like "heeeeeeerm...."...and i was like "yeah, exactly, let's get Mexican food in the neighborhood..." so we went to get Mexican and it was completely gross...and this new spot is totally not going to last all over again, you know the spot, that taqueria across the street from D-Structure...and then we watched Hook and stayed up late and went to bed...

and then on Sunday we were all amped to get up to go to Sunset on Treasure Island...but then we got to her house...and then we both sort of died a little bit energy wise...and then i put on a re-run of the Greece/ South Korea game and then we were like, "naw...Sunset is out!..." so we hopped in my car and headed to Ocean Beach...but it was foggy as all get up out there (natch)...so we headed back to the hood taking a nice scenic drive through Golden Gate park...and then we parked on Divis cause i was craving Seafood...tried to hit up Bar Crudo but it was closed...tried to hit up Nopa but it was closed...thought about hitting up Bean Bag but were all "meh..."...so headed up to KK Cafe for bacon cheeseburgers avoiding all the dumb fools heading up to the Haight Street Fair...went home and watched So I Married An Axe Murderer and got all super KK Cafe-bloat on those delicious burgers...and then watched a Werner Herzog move about Antarctica and then hit the hay hard...slept a full 8 hours or so.

and then now is Monday went for a new tattoo consult and booked a date with Cecelia Altamirano and then went home watched the Edward Norton version of The Incredible Hulk which sadly was way better than the Ang Lee/ Eric Bana version (sad because Eric Bana sort of looks like my brother and i'm always rooting for people that look like my brother)...but Eddy Norton kicked ass)...and now i'm listening to Boom Bip and also Ethiopian Modern Instrumentals Hits and working on poems...okay here's a new poem i wrote tonight...

X’s

We made humans out of chicken-wire and bird feathers

I’m always eating 7-11 nachos at the worst times

More than being on this big dumb bender

I’m feeling guilty for this X-Files marathon

If I had a baby blanket

I would tie it into a dew-rag around my head

I get easily distracted by all the carbs in my neighborhood

My face gets retarded-bloated like Jim Morrison’s

Skateboarding is not the 6^th element of Hip Hop

John Vanderslice sounds like a Psi-Trance DJ name

This is a poem about my ex-girlfriends

I can’t think of anything smellier than a poet’s orgy

Bobbi Star has the ass of an ex

Marie McCray has the white skin of an ex

Kim from Matt & Kim has the mouth of an ex

But I don’t have anymore X’s

to doppel-lurk on the internet

I think my cock is mostly pretty fun

But I’m never really sure

Did you know that “Language Poetry”

Is an anagram for “ugly Reagan Poet?”

exciting news! opening up a gyro shop in the Lower Haight with my brother, Jon W., and Brandon Brown on the vertical spit (mom's secret tzatziki sauce)... we all just agreed on the name. so come September 1st (fingers crossed!), stop by The Ramp Locals Gyro Shop in the great LH to say hi and treat your gaping maw to the best conical-based-meat sandwich you're bound to find in the greater 'SCO area...chomp!

heyhey, check out Adam Robinson's (HTML GIANT) super generous review of Maribor...

former BART cop-on-trial-for-murder/ pro skateboarder doppelganger thingy...

Johannes Mehserle



and...


Guy Mariano

3 Terrific Things About Working In West Berkeley!

1. Only 15 miles to San Francisco!

2. Only 3 miles to Oakland!

3. Only 30 miles to Concord!



3 Terrible Things About Working In West Berkeley :(

1. Only 3.4 miles from Telegraph

2. Only 2.2 miles from UC Berkeley (Go Bears!)

3. 15 whole miles to San Francisco

"your mission, should you choose to accept is: write about what you ate for dinner, write about what you did last weekend, tell me what the hell is going on in sf these days as far as dj's, good dive bars, bad dance clubs, trannys in the tenderloin and hipsters in the mission.

do you just want me to write your blog for you?

ha jk."

so yeah, we've all been saying it "facebook killed blogging"...cause it did. thing is though, facebook is boring. people are always joking about wasting their entire work day on facebook and i'm always wondering how it is exactly one wastes more than a couple minutes on facebook. i'm being serious, what is there to do on facebook? am i missing something? are there chat rooms (lulz) and band websites and a secret porn corner i don't know about? cause all my facebook does is stream a long list of boring links from mostly boring people. some not so boring people too, but facebook has that rare quality of rendering otherwise interesting people totally boring. anyway, this is all roundabout to say that i miss the blogs. i still troll my own blog roll every morning at my desk in hopes that someone somewhere has blogged something about anything...most people haven't. so then i read gawker, and sfist, and jezebel (for belly laughs), and haighteration, and sfgiants.com, and street carnage, and huffpost, and htmlgiant...but none of those blogs are run by my folkers. i miss my friends blogging.

so enter Megan Martin and her little prompt to get going. maybe all i need is for my friends to give me assignments. logan ryan smith wants me to start making dumb movies again. that sounds good, and i got a digi "video" camera for chirstmas that i still haven't busted out. so yeah, i'm just going to bounce off of Meg's thing for a sec...

what i had for dinner- last night i didn't eat anything for dinner. well that's not really true actually, i had 3 Sapporos and 3 Spatens for dinner. and then i had one more Spaten walking up Oak street at 11:30pm. yesterday for lunch i had a giantastic tub (?) of shrimp ceviche...it was amazingly good. but then about half way through eating it i had a sort of gluttonous disembodied experience (GDE) and observed myself (out of body mind you) shoveling shrimp after delicious shrimp into my mouth, 4 decapod crustaceans by the forkful...and let me tell you, it was not pretty. so now back in my body in my car i'm a little bit past the halfway mark of a seafood ceviche cluster-frack for a party of 5 and i figure, yeah, this is gross, i'm going to regret eating all this shrimp, but i can't really stop now. there's only like 20 shrimp left. gotta finish these bastards off, a pride thing, so i slurped the rest of that tub o' shrimp down...and then my stomach expands far larger than i'm comfortable with for a wednesday afternoon at work with a couple hours to go...so yeah, no diner after that. just some good beer and Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 2 and bed...

last weekend- is all kind of coming at me in fragments. i sincerely don't remember what i did on friday night. i do remember that after work i went skating with Mickey's Monkey champ retro furniture restorer Theo at the DMV. we sessioned around for a couple hours then i bought some beers and went home and watched Clint Eastwood brood and just generally kick ass in For A Few Dollars More...i think i went out after that but i don't remember. i may have just gone to bed. i have no idea...

and then Saturday i skated back over to the DMV for a morning sesh. then bought some beers and went home and watched Fully Flaired. then i went to Molotov's for a beer where Jonathan eventually picked me up to go to meet up with Jamie and her friends at the Aqua Surf Shop sample sale. then me and Jon and Jamie (JJJ) bought some Anchors and went over to Jamie's house in the Outer Sunset for some sunshine patio sapping...then me and Jon took off for the Lower Haight where he dropped me off at my place where i watched this insanely fucked up French movie called Irreversible then i might have gone out or stayed in i don't remember. i remember i had way gnarly dreams that night but i can't recollect about what...probably about Irreversible.

and then Sunday i woke up and walked to Cafe International for some sweet iced coffee (hi Meg!)...then got dressed and walked down to Lisa's house on Germania just down the block to meet up with her and Jamie. i think it took a couple hours for those girls to get ready but we eventually headed out towards the Mission to possibly see what was up with the Carnival celebration that had been going on all morning. naturally as we walked passed Dolores Park we got sucked into the vortex and never made it out to Carnival. so we kicked it in Dolores for a while and then Jon and Amelia show up with a 12 pack. so we drink the 12 pack and we're all just crewing out and the sun is hot and we're all burning up pretty bad. so then we head back to Lisa's place and those chicks take off for a BBQ in Berkeley and i'm like hell no i'm not going to the East Bay, i work out there 5 days a week and try to avoid it as much as possible on weekends unless i'm visiting my parents in Concord, smell me? so i hit up Micah Ballard and he tells me he's kicking it at Fly Bar with Sunnylyn. so i meet up with Micah and Sunnylyn and Russ is running the bar until he gets off and we say goodbye to Sunnylyn and head down to Madrone where we crack hella jokes (or something...) and drink a couple whiskeys...and at that point i'm just like really really going with the flow so i pull a "sneak out w/o saying goodbye" bail after about an hour and walk to the Upper Haight to meet up with Adaye
cause she just moved into the neighborhood and i wanted to see her new place even if it is in the Upper Haight (shudder)...so we kick it on her stoop and on her back porch and she shows me around and i meet her new roommates and then i get a text from Kyle B. that she's working at the Noc Noc and that we should come down to hang out...so me and Adaye start walking down Haight back towards the Lower Haight and Adaye suddenly decides she wants to go back to her house to grab her bike so she can drunk-ride it home after the bar (tsk tsk)...so i'm like cool i'm just going to keep walking and you can meet me down the street a bit...and then that was the last i saw of Adaye that night. she says she went home and had half a beer then passed out. so i end up at Noc Noc drinking awful overpriced Soju and cranberry drinks watching Kyle barback while attempting to play/learn a game of chess with the bartender (her boss)...and then it got really late and it was time to go cause i was really really feeling that flow and that burn so i grabbed a greasy slice from mythic and headed home to watch an episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 2 which i got 10 minutes into before zzzzzzzz'ing the hell out...

and then Monday i woke up on hurt. but got myself up and walked down to Waller St. for a white mocha coffee. read the paper outside in the fog (blessing)...Jamie came over and we watched one of my favorite movies ever, Smoke...then we went to the Upper Haight to visit her friend JD who was working Aqua. they made me drink Kombucha for the first time. that stuff smells like rotting plums...or easter egg dye...gross! and then me and Jamie went record shopping at Amoeba where i got the new Kurt Vile and the new Zola Jesus and a Terry Riley record and some 80's Ska'ompolation, and the new Thee Oh Sees and the new Joanna Newsom and a couple of used Love & Rockets records...then i was dropped off at home where i made myself a nice big orzo and hummus dinner which got delayed by 5 hours as me and Steve polished off a ton of Metaxa bro'ing down on the couch listening to Elton John and Quannnum and The Eagles...and then i ate my very much cold and neglected dinner while watching an episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 2.

i try hard as i can to not think about trannys in the TL


as far as DJs in The City...i feel like Soul nights are sort of on their way out...i don't really know why i think that but it feels like people are moving on to the next at this point. i went to a really fun Punk rock dance party at Delirium the other night. i could definitely see Mission kids "bringing back" (HAHA!) Punk rock...revivalist Disco seems to be kind of big right now. fun nights going on at Deco Lounge and such...i'm still crossing my fingers for a SKA'veloution in SF. would love to skank-out to some 2-Tone and holler at them Rude Girls...

i don't know. so that's that. that was just like old times huh? name dropping, photos of pretty girls, parties, skating, not talking about poetry...feels like the old Johnny is back! thanks for the blogging assignment Meggers. keep em' coming. cause i'm officially out of ideas.